Ways to Get Killed By the Espada
by NinjaLuffer1215
Summary: Here are some ways that you can get yourself killed by Aizen and his Espada.


Here are some ways to get yourself killed by the espada. Warning attempting the following may result in injury or possible death. Written with help from Mondaysnoon. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not own any bleach people.

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Play the 'emo kid' song every time Ulquiorra walks by.

It's a bird, it's a plane. . .no it's just lord Aizen.

Walk up to Tosen and ask him "Oh wow did see that. . .oh, right"

Ask Halibel if she is Kisame's mother, and if so why did she leave her child. Then go into a huge lecture about what a horrible parent she is.

Tie a fluffy cat toy to the back of Halibel's uniform, make sure it has a bell it. . .see how long it take Grimmjow to find it.

Throw chunks of Kryptonite at Aizen, laugh manically claiming you have found his weakness.

Ask Ulquiorra if he wants to borrow your make-up.

See how many small objects you can drop in Stark's mouth before he wakes up. Swear it was Nnorita and run.

Roll a bouncy ball in front of Grimmjow. . .entertainment to follow.

Every time Tosen walks by, frantically scream at him to watch out for that wall.

Ask Yammy if he eats babies, when he answers yes, grab Nel and run away.

Every time Grimmjow curses, squirt him with water until he stops.

Replace Szayel's shampoo with Nair.

Inform Stark that you thought only cats needed to sleep that much.

Put fish in Aaroniero's tank, err I mean head.

Ask Sayzel what really goes on in his room at night.

Tease Grimmjow with strings and shiny things.

Tell all the Espada that Aizen is really superman's evil twin.

Make sure to eat all of the food in the kitchen before anyone wakes up.

Ask Tosen, "Did you see the American Idol finals last night? . . .oh right."

Claim that Gin must constantly be farting because of that evil smirk that is always on his face.

Lock Stark and Grimmjow in the same room, don't forget the catnip.

Tell every male arrancar that Halibel wants to confess her love to them. Notice the arrancar population decrease.

Ask Nnorita if he has washed his spoon lately.

Repeatedly poke Barrage with a stick. When he questions you jump up and down screaming you thought he was a giant raisin.

Put a collar with a bell around Grimmjow's neck. Make sure you use super glue so he can't take it off. Attach leash. Show off your new pet.

Tell Ulquiorra that his precious Lord Aizen wants to confess his love to him.

Steal Tosen's underwear and place them in Aizen's room. Be sure and tell everyone what you saw.

Follow Grimmjow and narrate his actions as if you were in a wildlife documentary.

Ask Aizen if he owns a pair of Chuck Norris pjs

Replace Szayel's shampoo with black hair dye as soon as his hair grows back from the Nair.

Squish a praying mantis. Make sure it is in plain sight of Nnorita.

Warn all of the Espada that you know the reason Gin is smiling all the time. . .and that they should lock their doors at night.

Ask Ulquiorra if the reason he is emo is because of what Sayzel does to him at night.

Inform Grimmjow that it is inevitable, you already read the manga and he loses to Ichigo.

Ask Aizen if dealing with all the Espada is giving him grays.

Run up to Tosen and excitedly ask him, "oh did you see what Lord Aizen is wearing. . .oh right."

Make Halibel dinner, when she complements the dish and asks what it is called, tell her that it is a Uchiha family recipe you got from Itachi, called shark fin soup. (read Kisame the cannibal to get the joke.)

Sit across the room from Grimmjow and try to throw the bouncy ball through his hole.

Dress up like Superman and pretend to be Aizen.

Follow Gin singing the "Foxy Lady" song complete with the hand motions.

Bring Kisame up there and show him Halibel claiming that this is his real mother that abandoned him long ago.

Ask Nnorita if he is in any way related to Orochimaru.

Steal Szayel's glasses.

Play ring toss with Ulquiorra's mask.

Steal all of Halibel's clothing while she is in the shower. Run like hell.

Tell Stark that he is going to get fat if he keeps laying around like he is.

Inform everybody that you achieved bankia last night with Halibel.

Steal everybody's pants and put them in Ichigo's room.

Tell the Espada that they are all going to die and there is not a single thing they can do to change that fact

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AN. Please review nicely. If anybody has anymore ways to get killed just message me and they may end up in chapter two.


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